Hitting is simply teaching your child that it is the best way to vent or express anger. When you hit others, the anger goes away or the wrongs are resolved. That’s a very wrong lesson. You see, it’s not just hitting the child that makes the impression on him or her; it’s your mood and behavior, the attitude with which you do it. If on the other hand you are trying to teach your child anger management and control, hitting him or her just jeopardizes that teaching. If you removed anger from hitting, there wouldn’t be hitting at all, just a calmer person thinking of a more appropriate way to handle a situation or one who sees that it’s no situation at all.
Hitting or spanking is all it takes in your child’s eye to go from a loving parent to a mindless one. It’s best not to do it at all. A child is likely to remember the hitting times, more than the nurturing times. More so, you know you will do it in anger, so why do it?
You will be bruising your child’s self-image and worth. If your child perceives that hitting is used to correct wrongdoers, the child will keep thinking that he or she is up to no good. For some other children, it may just be confusing. One minute you are commending them for a good behavior, the next minute you are hitting them for a wrong doing. Your role as a parent is to raise a confident child with self-values and not one who doesn’t feel good about his/herself.
You may not erase the effect of hitting the child no matter how many chocolates or hugs you give the child. True, the child may reciprocate your guilt relieving gestures out of fear but deep down they feel hurt and powerless. You may raise a child who is outwardly compliant but inwardly cowers in fear and feels helpless. The child may grow up with a complex, allowing people to have their way or bully them because they are powerless or can be hit.
You can only get temporal relief from hitting your child, but deep down you won’t feel great about it. For starters, you have devalued yourself in front of the child and he or she now sees you differently. Who knows, you may lose something precious you share with that child- friendship. You cannot get friendship when you are feared; you will lose your value. But you can still find other ways to discipline your child while still remaining trusted and respected. Respect and trust will outlive fear, so choose that instead. Some children may forgive and still warm up to you afterwards but for some, the fear will keep them from loving you. When that fear goes from your child, who will happen eventually, you would have lost their trust, respect and friendship.
Hitting keeps you from workable ways in which to divert potential behavior from the child. With hitting, there are no other alternatives and so the more the child misbehaves, the more you hit him or her. Sadly, no lesson is being taught hear, just that of few and no other pre-planned parenting strategy.
In most cases, hitting will not improve the child’s behavior. Have you not noticed that sometimes, your child will still indulge in the same behavior you had earlier hit him or her for? The child already doesn’t feel good and will tend to continue in the wrongdoing knowing that physical punishment is the most you can do, so the more they are hit, the more hardened they become. Because there is no other alternative with which to promote the preferred behavior in the child, the child can continue until things grow really worse. The more you hit the child, the worse he or she feels and the less the remorse .
Hitting comes hand in hand with emotional and verbal abuse. There is hardly any parent who hits a child without cursing out, name calling or using mean words. This is a lose-lose situation as you are not only harming the child physically but also emotionally and psychologically. This will leave scars on the child’s mind that may be hard to go away.